Warning: R+ rated for fuckin foul language & shit talk. Not exactly a Sanchez post
but equally dirty.
TMI Thursdays sponsored by the queen of sharing your shit or someone else's, momma Lilu:
Well well well ...
It is about time I write my very first TMI post.
At least porky thinks so since he's always asking, begging, pleading and attempting to corrupt me into writing TMI things, but I'm too propper for that so imma talk about someone else instead:
aaaaaaand so it begins:
Let me catch you up to speed .. I work in an office full of men, and one other "woman" aside from lovely ME.
I say "woman" because she is more like an amazon nasty ass beast whom we shall appropriately nick name Medusa. She is like a black widow I tell you, crazy crazy and MEAN with her poisonous scorpion tail.. GASP OHHH that bitch! ...
OK so check it out .. we have a nice little nonchalant ladies room here .. yes.. a pisser room.. ya know??
RIGHTYO then ...
It just so happens that Medusa likes to drop the atomic bombs here at work , and I mean ATOMIC! ok?. I have walked in there after her and my eyes would well up with tears, real live tears, get green in the face and have to walk the f*ck back out .. GAwww, can't a girl go pee when she has to ??
Sometimes since there are more boys then girls, the boys will overflow into my bathroom , those testosterone bitches, but when they do, they have come to talk morning shit with me (not literally like Medusa's) and we hash over her toxic ass droppings.
I have gone in there many a day when she has decided to grace the porcelain God with her presence & said "ohh mother of the baby Jesus of all the things unholy !! " *gag*... *double gag*
Co workers and I have feebly attempted to mask this stench that carries out into the hallway with plug ins . Well as soon as she sees one in there she removes and hides it. We have numerous cans of Lysol Febreeze and such sprays which she wont use. We have a fan in the bathroom which she wont turn on. It makes you fucken wonder who the hell could live with that!! (as in with her)
I am currently googling masks to survive my daily pee runs.
And the absolute worst part of it all??? ( you may be asking yourself how could it get worse)
The floaters this woman leaves! There's something called double flush, for the love of Captain Hook !!!!
I mean do you truly have no couth ?
I think pranks are rightfully in order after enduring 3+ years of this hellish, subliminal office scat session.
OK mofo head biter on TMI Medusa's shyt out , peace yo.
...and may you never endure this lack of personal hygiene!
Let me catch you up to speed .. I work in an office full of men, and one other "woman" aside from lovely ME.
I say "woman" because she is more like an amazon nasty ass beast whom we shall appropriately nick name Medusa. She is like a black widow I tell you, crazy crazy and MEAN with her poisonous scorpion tail.. GASP OHHH that bitch! ...
OK so check it out .. we have a nice little nonchalant ladies room here .. yes.. a pisser room.. ya know??
RIGHTYO then ...
It just so happens that Medusa likes to drop the atomic bombs here at work , and I mean ATOMIC! ok?. I have walked in there after her and my eyes would well up with tears, real live tears, get green in the face and have to walk the f*ck back out .. GAwww, can't a girl go pee when she has to ??
Nooo, not here. There are only 2 potty rooms here... the boys and the girls potty.
Sometimes since there are more boys then girls, the boys will overflow into my bathroom , those testosterone bitches, but when they do, they have come to talk morning shit with me (not literally like Medusa's) and we hash over her toxic ass droppings.
I have gone in there many a day when she has decided to grace the porcelain God with her presence & said "ohh mother of the baby Jesus of all the things unholy !! " *gag*... *double gag*
Co workers and I have feebly attempted to mask this stench that carries out into the hallway with plug ins . Well as soon as she sees one in there she removes and hides it. We have numerous cans of Lysol Febreeze and such sprays which she wont use. We have a fan in the bathroom which she wont turn on. It makes you fucken wonder who the hell could live with that!! (as in with her)
I am currently googling masks to survive my daily pee runs.
And the absolute worst part of it all??? ( you may be asking yourself how could it get worse)
The floaters this woman leaves! There's something called double flush, for the love of Captain Hook !!!!
I mean do you truly have no couth ?
I think pranks are rightfully in order after enduring 3+ years of this hellish, subliminal office scat session.
OK mofo head biter on TMI Medusa's shyt out , peace yo.
...and may you never endure this lack of personal hygiene!
8 comments:
Aw, I was hoping for some finger-across-upper-lip Sanchezing... but instead I got a vile story about some particularly nasty poop -- can't complain :) Thanks for sharing!
bleck! good luck with aaall that!
hahahahaha atomic droppings lol... at least you deal with one person who does that, not 50 males during the day doing the same thing here at work.
It always starts off with a story about "someone else"...
Thanks for playing!
LOL oh no , are you suggesting i am on my way to being fully corrupted ? ? =D
Oh Shelly, you know, you are easily corrupted... we just need to hang out more, you see... lol
Umm...you need to get her fired...or drive her away. Hang frilly pink curtains and decorate the bathroom like someone spwewd pepto bismol everywhere. Or just make a sexual harassment claim against her...if she is Amazon-ish they havce to believe it. Practice your "I feel so violated" look.
I would leave a "floater" in her desk chair while she is dropping deuces in the bathroom...except, I guess it won't float too well, eh?
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