Friday, June 5, 2009

What has happened so far!

Today's post is brought to you by PorkStar

Howdy ya'll.

So I have hacked in Shell's blogger thingie and decided to make a post since she's so "busy" to write crap, eventhough she can gladfully call me and talk my ear off for a good hour with gossip and Joshy business.

Now, she doesn't know I'm posting this, but once peeps start commenting, she'll know through her email and I will get my spanking and my craneum chewed off to pieces and prolly regurgitated and slurped back in.

But I'm taking my chances because....

I'm an asshat like that.

So, I will pretend I'm her today and ramble.

*removes underwear


So hey, you guys, how are my bloggity peeps doing today?

I soooo apologize from the bottom of my belly for not posting and entertaining the few people of ya'll with my stories about being a single wrangler of two kiddos and a thick boyfriend in Iraq blowing up shit for fun.

It's exactly a month you guys, a month since I wrote anything in here but you must understand, a single hot mommy such as myself, working full time has very little time in her hands to be doing stuff she's not supposed to.

However, I seldom listen to reason (aka PorkStar) and I do what I fucking want and end up playing in facebook and talking smack to my lovely cute little lover boy Joshy baby during work hours (I know i'm a corny white chic sometimes but hey, I'm in love with him and in return he loooooooooooooves me) and then have to work overtime in order to catch up and I hires me a nanny to take care of my kiddos, which if looking at it from a social point of view, I'm adding to the creation of new jobs and thus, helping the economy grow.

Or some shit like that.

Ok fine I don't do that because I am broke and I rather spend time with my babies than being here in this place.

This entire month has been the busiest thus far. Taking the kids to practice, pimping my car out with some kick ass lights and shit of that sort because I'm a cool chic and I love the attention that is given to my car.

And to its driver as well.  : )

..And I took pics of the job being done to my BMW and posted them on Facebook. I suck greatly at taking pics so most of them were blurry and since my car is black, I forgot and took some pics of it without any light and all you can see is a black blub of nothingness.

Also I added a pic of me in the bathroom and it accidentally showed the toilet paper right infront of the pic.

Sergio said that apparently the hard work on cars (although all I did was sit there looking pretty) makes one want to go and take a number 2.

But I don't do that cause I'm a lady. A delicate flower.

So I cussed him out and he said the TP looked rougher than what he uses (apparently bounty, for what he said) and I then teased him about it cause, who uses bounty as TP?

Apparently him. Nasty fucker.

Anyways, there's also a never ending job of straigtening the house and making it look descent, tidy. But Lucy loo is a little human tornado / tazmanian devil and by the next day, there are toys and clothes spread out all over the house. ALL OVER THE HOUSE you hear!?!

But we girls tend to be like that too, I understand her because we love being messy, we loooooove being messy!!! Ok not me.

For Memorial day my brother and sis in law took us, along with their kids to Myrtle Beach and we had a super grand time.

Now, I don't know how to use a digicam and I thought cleaning the lens with an oily finger was a good idea, but apparently not. All the pics came up a bit blurry with a long oily smudge in the middle. 

I had recently applied sun protection, thus the oily finger.

I swear that finger was NOT, I repeat, was NOT anywhere else.

You pervs.

It was sunny, windy and lovely overthere. The kids loved playing in the pool, burying themselves in the sand and my brother made a lovely sand statue of a mermaid with Lucy's head.

No, he did not detach her head, although she drives me so nuts I wish I could do it, but she was actually buried in the sand, all smiles.

And I got some sun too wooo hooo

You see, I'm a white, pale skinny chic (with a hot ass, mind you) and my tiny ass blue bikini made me look this thin: |

But I didn't care because I was worried I hadn't heard from my Joshy baby in like 5 days and I almost crapped my pants from not having any news of him.

Again, that didn't happen because I'm a delicate flower and we don't just shit like that, you know.

Anyways, near the pool I had the laptop and a fag (cigarrette) dangling from my potty mouth trying to relief some stress (PG13 only).

At last I heard from the boy in the Sandbox and I was able to breathe and relax knowing that his hot cute self was alright overthere.

That's all that's been happening for now. I haven't even spoken/chatted that much to Sergio because sometimes I'm a little cocky cunt like that and I rather talk to my Joshy baby because, he WILL own me!.

and I like to leave Sergio hanging and not answer his questions because... sigh...I'm too busy for him... lol jk

Ok Sergio has just been busy at work and I dont like to interrupt him when he's all professional and intellectual and cute as a button and all that.

So that is all I have to say for today. I hope ya'll kiddies have a nice weekend. I'll be back next week with some more adventures woo hoo!


headbitingprincess said...

ROTF LMFAO.. wow .. you do a good me .. I commend you !!! some funny shyt in there .. like TP fight .. they didnt "take" us to MBeach- we just all went to the same hotel - and i followed them in my COOL ASZ mofo car lol lol lol .. sigh .. thank u for the laughs .. much needed !!
xoxox i still luv u biotch

Stacie's Madness said...

lmfao....maybe sometime Sergio can do me...oh wait that didn't come out right.

headbitingprincess said...

LMAO Stace ohhh too funny too funny

Samsmama said...

Man, Stacie is horny! I suggested she google herself. I hope she does, she needs it.

Stacie's Madness said...

I did google myself, does nothing for me.


Brian said...

Very impressive glog (guest-blog).

Bev said...

Googling yourself is one of life's greatest pleasures! Do it! You know you want to.

LiLu said...

Best guest post ever... no one better do this to me!

Kristen said...

too funny! i absolutely frigging love it!