What has happened so far!

Today's post is brought to you by PorkStar

Howdy ya'll.

So I have hacked in Shell's blogger thingie and decided to make a post since she's so "busy" to write crap, eventhough she can gladfully call me and talk my ear off for a good hour with gossip and Joshy business.

Now, she doesn't know I'm posting this, but once peeps start commenting, she'll know through her email and I will get my spanking and my craneum chewed off to pieces and prolly regurgitated and slurped back in.

But I'm taking my chances because....

I'm an asshat like that.

So, I will pretend I'm her today and ramble.

*removes underwear

*****

So hey, you guys, how are my bloggity peeps doing today?

I soooo apologize from the bottom of my belly for not posting and entertaining the few people of ya'll with my stories about being a single wrangler of two kiddos and a thick boyfriend in Iraq blowing up shit for fun.

It's exactly a month you guys, a month since I wrote anything in here but you must understand, a single hot mommy such as myself, working full time has very little time in her hands to be doing stuff she's not supposed to.

However, I seldom listen to reason (aka PorkStar) and I do what I fucking want and end up playing in facebook and talking smack to my lovely cute little lover boy Joshy baby during work hours (I know i'm a corny white chic sometimes but hey, I'm in love with him and in return he loooooooooooooves me) and then have to work overtime in order to catch up and I hires me a nanny to take care of my kiddos, which if looking at it from a social point of view, I'm adding to the creation of new jobs and thus, helping the economy grow.

Or some shit like that.

Ok fine I don't do that because I am broke and I rather spend time with my babies than being here in this place.

This entire month has been the busiest thus far. Taking the kids to practice, pimping my car out with some kick ass lights and shit of that sort because I'm a cool chic and I love the attention that is given to my car.

And to its driver as well.  : )

..And I took pics of the job being done to my BMW and posted them on Facebook. I suck greatly at taking pics so most of them were blurry and since my car is black, I forgot and took some pics of it without any light and all you can see is a black blub of nothingness.

Also I added a pic of me in the bathroom and it accidentally showed the toilet paper right infront of the pic.

Sergio said that apparently the hard work on cars (although all I did was sit there looking pretty) makes one want to go and take a number 2.

But I don't do that cause I'm a lady. A delicate flower.

So I cussed him out and he said the TP looked rougher than what he uses (apparently bounty, for what he said) and I then teased him about it cause, who uses bounty as TP?

Apparently him. Nasty fucker.

Anyways, there's also a never ending job of straigtening the house and making it look descent, tidy. But Lucy loo is a little human tornado / tazmanian devil and by the next day, there are toys and clothes spread out all over the house. ALL OVER THE HOUSE you hear!?!

But we girls tend to be like that too, I understand her because we love being messy, we loooooove being messy!!! Ok not me.

For Memorial day my brother and sis in law took us, along with their kids to Myrtle Beach and we had a super grand time.

Now, I don't know how to use a digicam and I thought cleaning the lens with an oily finger was a good idea, but apparently not. All the pics came up a bit blurry with a long oily smudge in the middle. 

I had recently applied sun protection, thus the oily finger.

I swear that finger was NOT, I repeat, was NOT anywhere else.

You pervs.

It was sunny, windy and lovely overthere. The kids loved playing in the pool, burying themselves in the sand and my brother made a lovely sand statue of a mermaid with Lucy's head.

No, he did not detach her head, although she drives me so nuts I wish I could do it, but she was actually buried in the sand, all smiles.

And I got some sun too wooo hooo

You see, I'm a white, pale skinny chic (with a hot ass, mind you) and my tiny ass blue bikini made me look this thin: |

But I didn't care because I was worried I hadn't heard from my Joshy baby in like 5 days and I almost crapped my pants from not having any news of him.

Again, that didn't happen because I'm a delicate flower and we don't just shit like that, you know.

Anyways, near the pool I had the laptop and a fag (cigarrette) dangling from my potty mouth trying to relief some stress (PG13 only).

At last I heard from the boy in the Sandbox and I was able to breathe and relax knowing that his hot cute self was alright overthere.

That's all that's been happening for now. I haven't even spoken/chatted that much to Sergio because sometimes I'm a little cocky cunt like that and I rather talk to my Joshy baby because, he WILL own me!.

and I like to leave Sergio hanging and not answer his questions because... sigh...I'm too busy for him... lol jk

Ok Sergio has just been busy at work and I dont like to interrupt him when he's all professional and intellectual and cute as a button and all that.

So that is all I have to say for today. I hope ya'll kiddies have a nice weekend. I'll be back next week with some more adventures woo hoo!

sheeeesh Mom what were you thinking !!

Soooo hey .. it has been a little while since I have graced blog world .. forgive me ..
between being uber busy at work, and running round like a Turkey being chased on Thanksgiving Eve
with baseball for the 2 munchkin butts .. whoooo Im saying "Calgon Take me away !!"

Let me tell you a story about my little LuLu .. this child comes off with some funny asz shyt
I dared to enter her room which i had just cleaned last week .. and when i did i promise you I could not see an inch of the floor .. as it was covered in clothes and blankets and stuffed animals - I was just about to call her up to interrogate her as to why every square inch of her room was covered like Times Square on New Years eve night , when I looked under her bed .. what do I find under there ????????
NOTHING not a gosh darn freakin thing .. not even a dust bunny !!!!
I call the Queen up .. and ask her how in the world one person could make such a mess in so little time covering her entire room .. she says Mother .. my WHOLE room is NOT a mess .. under my bed is clean ...
How does one NOT burst out laughing at that .. I told her she had to clean her room of course .. well guess where the punk slept last night ? .. nope not in my bed .. she went off to the toy room and slept on the spare bed ..
I am baffled .. I thought i made it clear to her i turned in my maids outfit and retired .. HA

And for the record .. I miss my boyfriend .. the sooner he gets home from Iraq , the happier I will be
I heart him n miss him

This is how my heart breaks...

Right .. So .. uhhhh ..
i thought when feeling completely miserable, down to the last ion in my stick figured body..
what better way to get the weight of the world off my back by blogging ..

Today .. my heart is broken into three hundred gazillion pieces .. at the loss of a long time ,near to my heart, friend's brother .. Ive known Big P for ohhh 17 years and I have always loved this man .. I love him .. so when the news had gotten to me about his little brother, my chest has been tight since the call and not gone away and i wanted to cry SO so badly .. but what the fock do I do instead ?? my eyes just gloss over , no tears .. I haven't cried in so freakin long that even now when I want to I can not .. I would like to give that award to my mother .. thats a story in itself which i have no intention of telling at present ..


flip me a mile up the river .. i thought blogging would help .. but i still feel numb and overcome with sadness

whoa .. like Joey says from Gimme a Break ...

Right-y-o then ....

Let me start with last night .. hmm .. nope .. back up even more .. to yesterday morning ...

Guess I woke up on the wrong side of the bed becuz i just wasnt my chipper bubbley self at all ..
it was a crazy busy day - stemming from a 3 day weekend , and it was Monday, I didnt sleep more than 2 or 3 hours Sunday night ... by the time 5pm came .. I found out that LuLu's baseball game was canceled due to rain .. however my little man's appearance in the AAA opening night game was still on ...

Due to the schedule change, I bought a ticket for Lulu n I ...
Well .. the other kids that my son was to go out onto the field with (fellow ball players) seemed to all be wild and unruly
ok fine well they arent my kids .. but the way i was raised was.. most especially in public u damn better behave or you will suffer later... and i in turn try to raise my kids the same .. except all of ya'll who know me .. know I suck donkey tit at enforcing ANY punishment at all .. ok back to point .. my kids stood beside me .. and for the most part they were truly fine ( compared to the kids who were picking up rocks and throwing them) my munchkins played wth each other .. for whatever reason i had a damn stick up my asz !@#@! and was not amused at their bouts of fun ... begging them to settle blah blah freakin blah ... yup smack me up side my stoopid head ..

FF(FastForward): we go to our seats .. we watch 4 innings and now the time is going for 9pm .. well its a school night and we have many a things to do before bed so it was time to go ... the kids didnt seem that into the game anyways chit chatting and checking everything else out ..

FF a little more .. we are at home and the kids are asking for something or other .. as i am trying to do my momly duties of cleaning cooking and such ... when my youngest asked for something - I was in the kitchen she was in the dining room .. my response was .. well darlin daughter .. i love ya but u kids really didnt behave at the game .. so i think no .... without hesitation she retorts " Mom we didnt act u p.. we are kids and we were acting like kids, we are only able to do that once in our lives and thats right now" and i am certain she threw in a sheesh or goooollly afterwards ... i immediately stopped turned to her and had her come in the kitchen - i said babe .. what did u say ?? .. she repeated it again , and added .. "really mom , we can not act like this once we get older ya know " in her matter of fact voice ...
I about had tears in my eyes and a huge grin on my face which made us both erupt in laughter .. I said mm hmm .. you are exactly right .. go on and do whatever it was u asked permission for ( Im drawing a blank at present to what it even was)
may i remind you this little angel just turned 8 years old ..

It just made me think ... as a parent .. I worry too much sometimes about my presentation of the children 2 the world .. spending too much time on that instead of focusing on the important stuff like letting them enjoy the innocence and joy of childhood for the few short years they are able .... and if only we as adults could kick back more often and act like kids ( the way i do too often lol ) we may find ourselves a little bit of happiness ..
I love those kids more every single day than anything else in the world = )
they construct the beating of my heart ..
and also give me some hella cool stories to share =)
<3
Have a great tipsy Tuesday !

kiss kiss =)

Grandma's letter.
She is eighty-eight years old and still drives her own car
She writes:

Dear Grand-daughter,

The other day I went up to our local Christian book store and saw a 'Honk if
you love Jesus' bumper sticker.

I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a
thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting.

So, I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper.

Boy, am I glad I did; what an uplifting experience that followed.

I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just lost in thought
about the Lord and how good he is, and I didn't notice that the light had
changed.

It is a good thing someone else loves Jesus because if he hadn't honked, I'd
never have noticed.

I found that lots of people love Jesus!

While I was sitting there, the guy behind started honking like crazy, and
then he leaned out of his window and screamed, 'For the love of God!'

'Go! Go! Go! Jesus Christ, GO!'

What an exuberant cheerleader he was for Jesus!

Everyone started honking!

I just leaned out my window and started waving and smiling at all those
loving people.

I even honked my horn a few times to share in the love!

There must have been a man from Florida state back there because I heard him
yelling something about a sunny beach.

I saw another guy waving in a funny way with only his middle finger stuck up
in the air.

I asked my young teenage grandson in the back seat what that meant.
He said it was probably a Hawaiian good luck sign or something.

Well, I have never met anyone from Hawaii , so I leaned out the window and
gave him the good luck sign right back..

My grandson burst out laughing.

Why even he was enjoying this religious experience!!

A couple of the people were so caught up in the joy of the moment that they
got out of their cars and started walking towards me.

I bet they wanted to pray or ask what church I attended, but this is when I
noticed the light had changed.

So, grinning, I waved at all my brothers and sisters, and drove on through
the intersection.

I noticed that I was the only car that got through the intersection before
the light changed again and felt kind of sad that I had to leave them after
all the love we had shared.

So I slowed the car down, leaned out the window and gave them all the
Hawaiian good luck sign one last time as I drove away. Praise the Lord for
such wonderful folks!!

Will write again soon,

Love, Grandma

GET SOME

Ohhhh!!! my eyeballs !!! Let me just say I have begun my search for a new bikini ..
hmm problem is .. I don't have melons to hold like the lady above .. .. which brings up another thought.. wonder if the hand comes with a choice of breasts ??? that's hot said fred !!
i can see why the dude is wearing all the bling , why would u wanna cover up that eye catcher .. shyt man .. I'm gonna order me a pair off ebay right now.. and wear em to work tomrw .. i don;t think my engineers will mind ..
course they will have a new topic of the year and maybe the other one from 3 years ago when i burnt/melted a pot will be let go !!! hell i would much rather be known for hands on my tata's then a melted pot fire in the kitchen incident .. totally more appealing !! right ? just more random thoughts ... we all know where my mind has residence .. hell i am the Prez of Gutter Town ..

OK .. moving on to another random and innocent occasion today .. first .. Im not making ANY progress at work .. I am playing way 2 much ... I blame me for that .. tad bit distractable this week .. I better get back to my A: game ..
but I have plenty good reason

Randomness #2 - the little girl Alana (2 yr old local leukemia patient) she has made another miraculous turn in her fight for life ... God bless her and her family

Random-anomaly # C: welps ... i got distracted .. lets see if i can remember .. CURSE this amnesia or Alzheimer's i cant remember which i have

FLICK !!!! what was it >??? i had a random lost thoughtAHHH yes
whoo that was close

One of my engineers brought in a bag of Twix candybars and gave me one .. which immediately flooded my head with a beloved childhood memory .. which thanks to my work load i can not tell at the moment ..
but surely will reference back to this one so i can at later date

MUAH love u little flocker heads !!!
have a thumpin thursday !!!

Welcome to Wednesday ..

Welcome to Wednesday ..


well I am a chic of my word .. I left my house yesterday at 7.30am ish .. I got home at 9.45pm .. baseball season will do that to you .. ..

i promised i would cut my hair last night .. and once i had the kids in bed and settled and work around the house done .. i grabbed me scissors and choppered off 13 + inches of me hair .. let me tell u .. its a little hard to see the back of your head and chop-a-lop .. so i made the cut and snapped a pic .. here it is .. I am not done i need to shape it .. but saving that for tonite ..

I'm not gonna lie .. i feel weird , semi - retarded with out my long flowing hair touching my back and elbows , or getting caught in my jacket zippers lol .. and stuff .. but i would still do it a hundred times over (and i will too) for the cause .. I just cant get past thinking bout how these young innocent angels got a raw deal, fight for their life etc ... if there is just one small thing i can do .. you gosh dang friggin better believe i will do it !!
my hair will grow back , theirs wont .. so why not give them a small piece of mind while they travel through the most tumultuous journey they as children face..
Cancer today is so common I bet everyone who reads this can say they know of someone who had it .. I personally can say i know too many ... losing family and a dear friend to it .. I always felt helpless with them , all i could do was pray ..

thats all i have for now since i best be getting to work ..
this blooger blogger blocker head can not be ALL work no play sooo here is a funny:

Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves, you're going to smile when you think of this:
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous,
so he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
'Do you know how they make these gloves?' he asked.
'No, I don't,' she replied.
Well,' he spoofed, 'there's a building in Canada with a big tank of latex,
and workers of all hand sizes walk up to the tank, dip in their hands, let them dry,
then peel off the gloves and throw them into boxes of the right size.'
She didn't crack a smile.
'Oh, well. I tried,' he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she burst out laughing. 'What's so funny?' he asked.
'I was just envisioning how condoms are made!'
(Gotta watch those little old ladies! Their minds are always working!)
Be afraid of old ladies! Be very afraid! They have been there and done everything!